This is how I feel when I take off my skinny jeans.
this is how it feels when i take off my bra
This is how i feel when my human form is ripped to shreds only to reveal my true form of a cecaelian sea witch
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."
"I don’t get it."
"What’s not to get."
"Why would she make you a sandwich?"
"Because… She’s a girl."
"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"
"I can make myself a sandwich."
"Cool, go make me one too."
[Smooth Criminal plays]
The weather is nice so tourists are out and about doing tourist things like walking slowly and blocking people’s paths
you know what the stupidest award is
why should you be rewarded for having a superior immune system and never catching a virus okay it’s not exactly my fault that I’m not perfect and I gotta work it
where is my award for not murdering anyone all four years of high school since we’re giving out pointless awards here